To Give or not to Give…Up
To Give, or Not To Give… Up
Sometimes I feel like giving up, on so many things. On my friends that never call me first, I always have to call them first and hope they’ll call me back or write me.
I feel like giving up on always trying to lose weight. Am I not good enough the way I am? When will it be good enough? Don’t I need to love myself. I mean it’s one thing to eat healthy and exercise on a consistent basis. But am I not allowed to have a chocolate bar once or twice a week? COME ON!
But then, I remember and think about so many people in the world who don’t have enough to eat. Who don’t even have any family or friends to lean on when they’ve lost everything. People who have been sold into slavery. 1.2 Million children are trafficked every year throughout the world. (Source: Various, Noted by UNICEF)
I then think. I CAN’T GIVE UP! I may have my problems, we all do, but the truth is that living in this country, and with a loving family as I have, my lowest points of life may never even be compared to some people’s daily lives. When faced with the way that most people live, these things I often worry about don’t seem as important.
I look at my sleeping 2 year old son and my amazing husband who loves me very much. I think of my mother, father and sister 70 miles away who just drove to visit us today.
I realize even if my friends don’t call me back. Even if I gain 10 lbs, stay the same, or lose weight. Even if I lose my health and all my looks. I do have people who love me and would do anything for me. So many people on this earth have never had that, and may never have that.
So. I WILL GIVE UP my selfishness and my pride that thinks I know why my loved ones aren’t calling me- perhaps they’re going through a harder time than me and I need to keep reaching out.
I WILL GIVE UP feeling bad about myself if I don’t lose a pound this week, or even if I gain one. Because I am exercising and eating healthy, and that’s supposed to be the point, right? And more importantly, I’m trying to be a good person!
I WONT GIVE UP trying to give a voice to those who don’t have one.
I WONT GIVE UP loving even when I don’t feel loved, because our feelings often betray the truth.
AND I WON’T GIVE UP on me. I will remember “every day is new with no mistakes in it yet” as said by one of my favorite fictional characters ever- Anne of Green Gables. (Books by L.M. Montgomery)
And I WONT GIVE UP on my dream to adopt one or more children because Anne was an orphan, my mother was an orphan, and there are so many orphans in the world that I just know there’s one or more made for my home, and there’s definitely a lot we can all help even if it’s just through a letter, a donation, or our homes and hearts!
I WON’T GIVE UP trying to right any wrong that I can be a part of righting!
I WILL GIVE UP all things that keep me from being a light in this world.
Extreme Couponing and Amazing homemade Iced Coffee Secret!!!!
Ok, so I had such an exciting thing just happen that I had to get on here and write about it immediately. You may be wondering… what is so important to me that I have to write about… COFFEE!!!! And not just any coffee- Homemade Delicious Iced Coffee!
If anyone else is like me, I’ve been on the search for how to make the perfect iced or ice-blended coffee. You’d think it wouldn’t be that difficult. But the difficult part isn’t stirring water, coffee, cream and sugar together- it’s finding a GREAT coffee taste that doesn’t have floating pieces in it! You KNOW what I’m talking about!
So yesterday after going into Coffee Bean for my twice weekly treat of getting a latte from them, I noticed (as I’d noticed many times before) their Coffee Extract for sale. I FINALLY picked it up to see the directions on how to make Iced Coffee at home. Well, all you do is add water- so I thought. Well, might as well give it a try. I LOVE COFFEE BEAN Coffee and to my taste, it’s one of my favorite coffee tastes ever. So, I was hoping that the coffee in this would be the same.
Well, just 10 minutes ago I was having my afternoon sleepy moments and said “It’s time to try that coffee extract!” So I followed the simple directions of putting 3 oz coffee extract with 4 oz cold filtered water (They said put ice in first, but I know better than that- you need to stir it with no ice- trust me- I actually worked in a Coffee Shop for a few months, and have watched the Baristas at coffee shops as well). I then added a couple tbs lowfat creamer and 1 packet stevia, stirred and then added ice to the top!
WOW!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY HOMEMADE ICED COFFEE THAT TASTES STOREBOUGHT AND AMAZING!!!!
So here’s the MONEY SAVINGS for doing this instead of a latte out each day:
That container of coffee extract can make 10 cups of coffee. It was $12. so for the month it’d be $48 instead of $4x30 (if you go everyday and get one latte)…= $120. A savings of $72 dollars!!!! $72x 12 months= $864!!!! OR a plane ticket to Europe!!!! lol (I measure my money lost or saved by travels!) I’m 29 and FINALLY getting it together! :)
SO OH YES! A treat for my mouth and my pocketbook! :)
And speaking of other treats for our pocketbooks…I’ve recently been inspired by the TLC show Extreme Couponing. Now, I’m nowhere near as Extreme, BUT I will tell you..In the last few months by shopping smarter and following THEKRAZYCOUPONLADY.COM and now having my own Coupon Binder I’ve literally saved hundreds of dollars in just a few months. I’m not kidding.
Go to that website- check out the beginners and how to make your binder. They explain it all! The real secrets are in their book, though, which is SO affordable to order through their website (NO I’m NOT PAID to say any of this) but I know in these hard economic times a lot of us are trying to figure out how to save money! (or just pay bills, right!?!?)I was so thankful someone told me about this site (the author is one of the ones featured on the show) and I just wanted to spread the love!!!!
I’m telling you, this has CHANGED MY LIFE! Please do yourself a favor- put aside what you think couponing is-
1. Go to THEKRAZYCOUPONLADY.COM.
2. Get on their mailing list
3. Check it dailly/weekly for deals
4. Make your own binder
5. Buy their book
6. Follow their rules!
7. Coupon, Go Crazy, and save lots of money! YAY!
IT WILL CHANGE YOU and help you so much, I promise!
So, sit on down with your homemade coffee like me, start couponing (or keep it up) and say HOORAY! for taking control and still enjoying life! WOO HOO!!!!!!
Ok, So I’ve been learning the Accordion that past 2 days. It’s been amazing! I’ve had this accordion some friends gave me for months in my music room. But I was so intimidated. I’d only taken it out once, and it was so loud and heavy, I put it quickly back in.
Well, when I was on tour a few weeks ago through CA’s Central Coast, one of the performers only played Accordion. Yeti was her name (Pronounced Jeti), and besides being cool because she’s from Paris, she was also super awesome and fun. She really inspired me to come home and pick up my accordion (and I also learned it’s an ‘o’ not an ‘a’ at the end of accordion!
So, I’ve been watching these YouTube Videos trying to teach myself. I’m getting a lesson with my friend Sunday, who actually does play accordion in my band (and she also did inspire me- let’s not forget Femke!)
So, all that to say, I just recorded myself playing (and singing) my song “Hold Me” that has accordion as the lead instrument- so what better song to start with, I thought. Well, guess what, I got through it! Not so gracefully, but I didn’t miss a bass note and at least got through it, which was my goal.
If you didn’t know, I’m a music teacher as well as a performer. I teach a handful of students on a weekly basis and they totally enrich my life! A lot of times when they hear me sing, they tell me they’re so intimidated and I must’ve just been born with it. Well, first of all, I wasn’t, and this little audio clip is to prove it.
Listening to myself in such a beginner stage is hilarious and totally humbling. But it’s really fun being a student as an adult, and even funnier to me being a pro musician and then trying to learn a new instrument and sounding like such a beginner!
I’m hoping my all my piano skills and music theory will come in handy, and I’m sure it is, but it’s SO fun to be learning this instrument and something new. I hope you enjoy the track and that it makes you feel really good about yourself- and let’s all go learn something new and feel like a kid again!!! :)
Split Personalities and Carpedium!
So lately I’ve been thinking about how I walk around during the day with my son in my “mommy” clothes. Normally no make-up with my hair pulled back and clothes I can move in-especially with a 16 month old son running around. It is sure a blast. Especially with his little car I push him around in. We have our little routine of walking(him driving :) up to the Coffee Bean and then back down the park and/or beach to play in the sand. It’s so awesome to be together.
And, then on nights I go to L.A. for an industry event, or band rehearsal or show- I sometimes feel like a completely different person! Mainly appearance- lol! I get clean (WOO HOO for showers!) do my hair, put on make-up, jewelry, and cute clothes. I promise, I don’t think someone on the street would recognize me as the same person. ha ha. And besides the total difference- I have to set my mind in a different way. It’s business, you know? It’s just an interesting change. Both people are me- but both different, but the same. My morals and personality don’t change, but besides my appearance…I don’t know!
So, this leads into my Carpedium (SEIZE THE DAY!) because as hard as I try to live in each moment, I’m constantly faced with the future, but not a promised future…I don’t know if this makes sense…but I’m just trying to enjoy my son, my husband, my life as it is now- even though I have these huge dreams and goals…I don’t want to miss out on the precious daily stuff that sometimes seems mundane, but I think in the future if I do go on tour or even have fame- I’m sure I’ll miss this.
I guess this has all been on my mind- so I’m learning what to focus on all while not letting go of goals and dreams. It’s an interesting balance. I want to pursue my dreams and make them happen but I definitely want to enjoy everyday with my precious family and not forget to reach out to others and not be selfish.
Ah….life. It is beautiful, even if confusing and stressful at times. I WILL focus on the beauty!
This is a pic of me and my husband pre-baby on a CARPEDIUM trip last minute to Pismo Beach a couple years ago! :)
CSULB, Poetry, Goldfish, and Messy House
So, I’m writing this at 12:35 a.m. March 26th. I played a last minute show tonight at Cal State Long Beach’s Poet’s Lounge. It’s always such an interesting crowd and experience. The music (me and my cellist Irina tonight) start the show with a few songs and then they have featured poets as well as open mic poets. I find most of the poems to be extremely innapropriate- but some are pretty amazing. I also find myself very inspired because it gets my brain thinking in a different creative way. It really inspires me to write better lyrics and different perspectives. I really like it.
I was also pleasantly surprised because two of my dear friends came to surprise me and support us- even though it was really last minute and on a huge college campus- they walked like a mile to find us. Seriously, getting to this place, especially your first time feels like when Buddy the Elf from “Elf” tells his story about getting to NYC. It’s like “I walked through seven parking lots, and then realized I had walked the wrong way, but then a kind student steered me in the right direction past the fountains…” etc…etc… :)
So, all in all I had a really nice night. My cellist and friend, Irina is just AMAZING. If you’re around- you should really come out to see us play, I’m SOOO blessed with every band member- each one is also an artist themselves- so I’m so honored to have them!
I came home, then, and my baby and hubby are sleeping- but I can never go to sleep right away, no matter how exhausted. It’s like it always takes a couple hours to wind down and be ready to sleep. I also find I need to process every performance and that takes time.
I was sitting on the couch eating goldfish (thanks to my son for getting me into goldfish as an adult!) watching “Community” and just couldn’t take my dirty house any longer. So, I at least tidied up the kitchen, dining and living room. I could write a lot more about how the house is always messy with a baby around- it’s not even that he messes up that much (although he definitely does like things ‘out of place’) :) but it’s more, you’re so TIRED to really clean how you’d normally clean. Can I get an Amen from all you mommas and poppas…
Ok, well I’m going to start rambling (like I haven’t already) Hope you sleep well! I hope I sleep well!
MONEY, Sandra Bullock and St. Patty’s Day
I sit here on this hot, wednesday afternoon on St. Patrick’s Day stressed about Money. What is new! Well, I really try not to stress about it, but control and do what I can do, and pray about the rest. I’m constantly having to read the verse in Matthew 6 “Don’t worry about tomorrow..”but somedays when you get slammed with bills and just don’t know how you’re going to pay for things, the stress definitely comes creeping in.
So, I’m trying to write it out and hopefully my stress can help you feel better about your life, if you happen to be in the same boat. The truth is, I know that we have it so much better than people around the world, and I’ve never gone hungry and I have so many blessings, I can’t begin to count them. So, that’s that, I will say another prayer and be thankful for all I do have trusting that God will take care of the rest.
You may wonder, why Sandra Bullock? No particular reason except I’m still doing my little test of putting things people are searching in my blogs to try and see if it actually does put me higher in search engines. And, I do really like Sandra Bullock. She also lives like a mile from me and I saw her for the first time on the street about a month ago. I totally did the creepy thing of turning around and staring. Walked right past her- like a foot from me. And yes, she’s just as beautiful in person.
Well, hope you’re wearing green and having a fabulous day. I will say, I did eat a frozen banana dipped in chocolate and covered in Heath Bar (first one of those EVER) and it was fabulous. I highly recommend :) Just to leave on a positive note. :) 
Tuesday,the Baltic Sea, and Prague
It seems I write every Tuesday without even realizing it. Today I saw that The Baltic Sea was at the top of the searches for a ship that wrecked 12 centuries ago there. Interesting. I’ve never been to the Baltic Sea, though I’d love to go. I’d love to go lots of places including Paris, France with my mother. We’ve never been and it’s her life long dream to go. I pray that I get to help her fulfill that dream!
I have been to Prague, which is called the Eastern European’s Paris. It was truly beautiful and I highly recommend to anyone to go there. Just amazing. I felt like I was in a fairy tale. I’ll post a picture. I actually went with two of my dearest friends, one American and one Ukrainian. We were the only two Americans on a Ukrainian Bus/Train trip to Prague and back from Kiev, Ukraine. We had both been living in Ukraine at the time. That was the best trip I’ve ever taken- SO much fun! I’ll post a picture of us standing with one of the Guards outside their royal castle. I was so embarassed to take that picture.
The other pic I’m about to post is us standing on this pedastol that reverberated when you stood on it- some kind of old fashioned amplification they came up with hundreds of years ago. I was wondering why it wasn’t working- and in front of the whole group of Ukrainians (who already though us two loud American girls were crazy)- I was facing the wrong way- so that’s when we started laughing and turned around.
Ahhh good times. There’s nothing like a good friend!
