Video Release Party with ECPAT- INSPIRING!
So, I wanted to write about my Video Release Party before I forget too much. Today was one of those days where you are just in awe that you got to be a part of something so so special.
(After The Show with LtoR: Jasmine (Director of Video), Helen (Producer of Video), Carol Smolenski (Director of ECPATUSA), Eeefy (TV Host), Tiana Star)
The room was filled with people who not only love me and my music, but were there for something bigger. We all came out, perhaps for different reasons, but what we got was inspiration and hope.
The event started out with a lot of getting to know each other, as half the crowd was texting and letting me know they were running late because of the usual L.A. traffic. So, that was actually very nice as everyone was chatting and munching on goodies in the very uniquely decorated and painted Coffee Gallery Backstage.
I ran in and out saying hello to our guests and then talking/texting to people on the phone trying to wait as long as we could because the event was going to be short, and didn’t want people to miss out if possible!
While my family helped decorate and watch my 2 year old son, and fans were arriving, I had the pleasure of FINALLY meeting Carol Smolenski, director of ECPAT (End Child Prostitution and Trafficking). A woman I’ve been in phone and email contact for almost 2 years after writing my song “I AM MY OWN” inspired by their charity, and giving proceeds from the song to them.
Well, she walked in during my sound check and I recognized her immediately. She has such a glow and beauty about her that I yelled out her name and she just laughed! I got along with her so well. We got to chat for a few stolen minutes over a cup of coffee and dream up more things we could do together! She is such a CHAMPION for human life and saving children and young adults from unthinkable crimes!
(Some of my awesome friends that drove 40 miles to be there!)
Finally almost everyone was there and it was time for the show to begin. Thankfully using my new TC-Helicon VoiceLive Touch went well (it harmonizes with me and adds amazing effects- check it out online!) And the whole crowd was quiet and listening to me. I can’t tell you how good it feels for people to be feeling what you wrote and are feeling and getting it! It’s just one of my favorite feelings ever.
After my 6 song set, including ending with I AM MY OWN of course, it was time for the real honor to begin- Carol Smolenski took the stage. She told us her story of how she got started in Children’s rights and how we’ve not come nearly as far as I’d have imagined. She says there’s more hope now than there’s been- but out of all our airlines and all our hotels that they’re asking to be held accountable for Child Trafficking going on- only 2 businesses in ALL of the US have signed their petition! We couldn’t believe our ears! Internationally over 1,000 businesses have signed the pledge to train their employees what to look for, and not to blink at seeing young girls (and boys) in suspicious situations being let into hotel rooms (or airplanes). And yet here in our own country- only 2 have signed this!
With that said, though, Carol went on to explain how we all can help. She told us when we board airplanes and when we stay in hotels- that we could ask what they’re doing to protect children being exploited- and she even gave us all postcards we could fill out to hand in or mail out in case that made us more comfortable (here’s the link to take action: http://ecpatusa.org/take-action/promote-the-code/ )
She was so upbeat and eloquent in her speech that she made us all believe the TRUTH- that we can ALL STAND UP AND HELP END THIS! That we CAN’T be good people who JUST SHUT OUR EYES! We have to take a stand for this to end. I totally believe that!
At the end of her speech, several people asked her questions and she continued to give thorough, and informed answers that once again inspired us all to take action once we left. SIDE NOTE: I WILL be having petition and postcard mailing parties for my friends, fans, and family. COMING SOON!
After we all clapped and clapped for Carol- we didn’t know what else to do- what else can you do but pray for and hug this amazing women doing so much with such awesome people trying to make a difference- not just talking about it- but DOING IT!
Well, after all that, it was time to introduce the Music Video. I had the crew that was in attendance from the making of the video: Jasmine (director), Helen (producer) and Tiffany (actress in video), come to the stage to introduce them- so everyone would see these beautiful women and how much they’ve helped!
The video was shown and it was over in a second (it seemed) Everyone clapped and clapped and the room was silent during the film. It was an interesting thing to be watching myself on screen with everyone else- but in a way natural- because mostly it was about bringing awareness to this issue that NEEDS to be talked about.
Afterwards, everyone was going up to Carol privately and asking her what they could do, and asking questions that needed answers. It was so amazing. Everyonewanted pictures and to stick around. I’ve never had so many people stick around so long. I think we all were drawing on this loving and positive experience and arming ourselves with this passion to move forward to remember to keep it moving!
Then as the last of us were about to get into our cars, an ice cream truck pulled up and I shouted “STOP THAT TRUCK” because my little 2 and a 1/2 year old sweetie pie son had never had ice cream from an ice cream truck (and I wanted one too). Well then- everyone all got ice creams too, young and old- and we took more photos! It was awesome! (I got a Ninja Turtle pop) :)
(My son West getting his first ice-cream from an ice cream truck!)
So, as you can see, it was just one of those amazing days. For anyone that is reading this that attended- thank you so much for being there and I’m so honored to have been in everyone’s presence, as each soul is equal and important and it took a lot to get all the way out to Altadena for every person there, and I’m so grateful.
I hope that those reading who aren’t aware of Human Trafficking will please take the time to get aware. Remember to buy my song I AM MY OWN as proceeds go to ECPAT and we’re trying to spread the word- through donations and money, ECPAT pays for victims healthcare that isn’t covered by medicare, and a billion other things to help these poor victims and to get them FREE!
To Close, I remember when I was a little kid and I read about Harriet Tubman and the underground railroad. I remember saying “I would’ve done that, I would’ve helped those slaves” and thinking “Even if I died, I would’ve helped”.
I ask you- Will you help these slaves? These children with no voice, no home, no help, no FREEDOM? Will you help! I WILL! Remember the voice of Edmund Burke
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing”
WE MUST DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!
If you don’t know where to start- start at ECPATUSA.ORG and see how you can take charge. Email me- booking@tianastar.com with any questions as I’m arranging events soon to all work together. And BUY MY SONG “I Am My Own” for only .99 cents on iTunes as the proceeds go to ECPAT who know what to do with that money to help others!
Thank you for reading, and I hope you’re as inspired as we are!
Mommy Life and the continual “Artist Struggle”
I’m sitting here on a Wednesday morning in my pj’s, on the couch, sipping a warm cup of coffee, with my 2 year old son watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and playing with his IKEA train set. And of course- on my laptop writing this blog and ceremoniously checking emails and trying to “Get ahead”, brainstorm, and create/record music.
Life is such an interesting journey. My son is the most important person in my life, and I just love him so much. Part of me wants to get on the ground and play with him (which I often do) but part of me wants to stay right here just so grateful that he’s now playing by himself and I can get a little work done!
I find everyday a tedious balance between getting work done I need to get done, songwriting, recording, teaching music, personal bible study time and prayer time, working out, eating healthy, housework (that’s at the end of my list on purpose!lol), etc etc- and then somedays we just say WHATEVER and get in the car and go to a park, see horses at the local stables, get a coffee to go (for me, not for him…well, ok he does ask for a sip!)
Being an independent musician and also a “Stay at home” mom is such a funny thing. The whole independent “artist” thing can be TOTALLY consuming, especially with the internet! There’s always another song you could write, another email you could send, another phone call you could make, etc etc etc..AHHHHHHH.
Having a child has actually brought more balance, not to talk about love, fun, my heart being full everyday- to my life! I think it’s helped me take the time to do the things I need to do to help provide for my family, as well as say no to things, I probably should’ve said no to before (unpaid gigs, stupid meetings with people who say they’re something but not that I should’ve researched, and so on and so forth), but because I didn’t have my precious little one at home and a loving husband- I just did those things because I could.
So, now I have to make very exact lists of what do with my time, when I actually get the time. Specific calls to make to booking agents, venues that PAY, managers, and all sorts of industry folk that I need to speak with to get ahead. But now, when the little guys are sleeping, I make my lists for the next day, copy and paste the numbers and emails I need to call the next day into my calendar. I think I’ve actually gotten it TOGETHER!
When I go out for a gig, I have a suitcase I roll that’s loaded with everything I’ll need from merchandise, to cables, mics, and a baggie of things I may need like black tape, bungee cords, scissors, markers, and lots of other goodies! It’s not that I never had those things in my gig bag before- but now they’re all in one little place and I’ve finally organized! I can’t tell you how much easier it makes my gigging life!
On top of that for gigs I have to take a sound system to (which is most of them), I also have a rock-n-roller cart- this thing is MY BEST FRIEND at gigs, and better than my best friend in the sense that it can hold up to 1000 lbs! lol. (although there’s nothing like a best friend at a gig, because although they can’t carry as much in one load as my cart, they can carry me through a lame gig where no one shows up or claps!lol). So seriously, if you’re a gigging, or want to be gigging musician- you NEED this cart! Best $100 I ever spent!
So, I’ve actually gotten all this stuff together since having my adorable 2 year old son and buddy! So although I definitely have less time on my hands to do my music stuff, when I do do my music stuff (don’t you love saying do do as a mommy), I think I do do it better (twice in one sentence- that’s amazing!).lol
On top of all that, I will say that sometimes in the past I was a bit flakey as a music teacher. I would cancel, even if it was legit, but parents would get frustrated. Now that I am a parent, I totally understand why! So being a mommy has really helped me be more consistent in that aspect as well. You now understand what moms and dads have to go through just to get a kid, let alone any other kids in the car with them, home, let alone to an appointment!
Well, I better get back to checking emails and changing the video on the TV to Handy Manny so that Weston keeps playing! :) Well he’s on my lap. No more time to write! :) But it’s ok, he’s sitting on my lap and just leaned in to kiss me! :)
I’ll leave you with a video of exactly what it’s like to try to get a video recorded while home with the little guy! (Note: I jut redid my music studio and it’s now video friendly not the mess in this clip)
Happy Birthday to me!!! :)
So, in one hour and 20 min I’ll be 29 years young! WOW! I don’t know where time goes, and quite frankly it freaks me out. I was lying down trying to get my adorable 2 yr old son to sleep and was thinking about my 20’s, since this will now be my last year in it! ha ha. And WOW so much has happened. I feel like doing a timeline, for myself, and just to share. I was just thinking about all that’s happened during my 20’s and it was just interesting to me what little, and big, things stood out.
20 years old:
Enrolled at Berklee College of Music and begin recording my first album.
Have an on again, off again relationship with my 1st love I met right after graduating high school.
Finally starting to find myself and really loved Berklee- it was really that whole year! So blessed I got to go
21 years old:
Starts off with a bang getting the stomach flu and my boyfriend (still the 1st love) had come to visit me and held my hair back, literally. We still decide to give this another try
Finish recording my first album, “Solicited” with my then awesome band and also get my first website (Thanks to Doug Bull for all of this) and first CD!!! :)
Find out my love had started seeing someone else, it wasn’t meant to be anyway, but it hurt all the same.
First Heartbreak.
Get asked out by a cute stranger at an audition. Date him for a couple months and he cheats on me. NOT cool, thankfully NOT in love!!!
Take 22 credits my last summer semester at Berklee and almost go crazy- but sad and excited to leave.
Graduate from Berklee and Steven Tyler speaks at my graduate. I remember 2 things he said: He told his mom, “Mom, when I grow up I want to be a musician” and she replied “Honey, you can’t do both”…I still always find that hilarious, and kinda true! And the 2nd thing he said, “We’re all here today, because we’re not all quite there!” lol…also true!
Drive Cross Country from Boston to Los Angeles by myself!!! Only had $600 when left and then $300 when I got to LA LA Land. But as always, God Somehow provides.
22!!!!
Finally got a music job after being here 9 months. Felt very blessed.
Started my own band with a cellist (Ellen Frolichstein-one of my first and best friends in CA), violinist, drums, and bass. Got to record a couple songs towards next album, “Star”
Still finding my way through the crazy business and figuring things out.
Went on an amazing long weekend road trip w/ my sister, friend, and mom up the coast and then across to Yosemite. It was a truly magical and amazing long weekend that I’ll always treasure.
23!!!
Still teaching music and performing. Don’t remember much. A lot started changing. Moved in with a fickle friend (never do this) and things took a downhill spiral.
My other guy “Friend” and I couldn’t figure out what we wanted to be. I loved him, but it wasn’t meant to be. Still glad I had him as a friend through the years.
With everything seeming to fall apart and no open doors as a musician, I decide to pursue my dream of mission and humanitarian work and leave in a weeks notice to do training in Lubbock, TX.
August I leave for Lubbock and once again drive by myself from LA to Lubbock loaded up in my little Saturn. I meet KELLI!!! My dearest friend ever who literally keeps me sane!
24***
When Kelli and I are almost done with the program- we travel to Nebraska and she introduces me to Kyle, someone who would also be working with us in Ukraine. Kyle and I hit it off. I call my friends the day after meeting him to pray for us, as I think I’ve found my dream man. I DID!!!! :)
Kyle and I start dating in March! :) He flies out to see my parents and I drive back w/ him to meet his family and work in Wyoming while we prepare to leave for Ukraine.
Kyle and I get engaged, but then he gets scared. We stay together and still leave for Ukraine- the same day my sister leaves for a 2 year teaching job to Guam.
I fall in love with the Ukrainian people and my whole life is changed. I will always respect foreigners and have great respect for all humans. We’re all made in image of God.
Learning Russian is HARD!!!!
25****
Best Birthday party ever!!!! Kyle takes me out and I had NO Idea all our Ukrainian friends were at my apartment decorating and throwing me the best bday party ever! I’m so blessed. They even made little maps and hid my presents for a treasure hunt!
I go on the best trip ever with my friend Kelli and new Ukrainian friend Jenya! :) (who I helped set up with her current Husband. :) . A 10 day tour from Kiev- 2 days on train to Poland, and then a bus ride to Prague. It was SO incredible and SOOO fun.
I had to move back to CA in Jan. And without Kyle. Wasn’t sure when he’d come.
Kyle left a month after me and came out to CA after going home to WY. He drove out by himself and had never even visited. I knew he must love me! :)
Mom and Dad move out a month after Kyle and get a job out here. My prayers are answered!!!
Kyle proposes in August 2007 and we’re married 9/8/07 on the beach in Newport Beach. It was magical.
26***
After our 6 month anniversary road trip to Monterrey Bay and back, we find out we’re expecting our first child. Mommy is scared and kyle says “You married me, and now you’re giving me babies!” and was so excited! ;)
Pregnancy is amazing. So emotional and so hungry, but SO awesome! All I can say is “FEED ME PANCAKES!!!” I was obsessed! :)
Nov. 20th, 2008 our son Weston is born, the happiest day of my life.
27***
Just enjoying being a mommy and getting a hold on this new life. Having a child really taught me a lesson that’s been years in the making. But that
EVERYTHING HAS IT”s OPPOSITE. The joy of being a mother, the joy of being a wife comes with those extreme opposites of exhaustion and sacrifice. But it’s so worth it and SO amazing! ;)
Start writing Songs again and feeling so inspired.
Get a new manager, Judy Stakee, and she pays for and makes possible my 3rd album/ep “Room To Grow”
28***
Start really pursuing my music again, all while balancing being a mommy. It was hard at times, but I want my son to know to pursue his dreams. I’m still a major “Stay at home” mom and couldn’t do this without help from my parents, loved ones, and of course my amazing husband.
I continue writing, performing, and finish the album.
Big CD RElease Party March 2010 with huge turnout. Feel very loved.
Went on first tours! To Colorado and back with radio, library, and cafe stops! Packed in my car w/ all our luggage (our is me, mom and Weston). Saw the Grand Canyon for the first time. We drove all the way to Grand Canyon and then up to CO past Denver and then back to CA! WOW! All in 9 days. It was Crazy but awesome! On our longest drive day (the Grand Canyon to Grand Junction, CO) day- it poured the WHOLE day, Thunderstorms forcing us to go extremely slow- but we saw 8 rainbows in one day!!! It was incredible!
Went on 2nd tour to Central CA with Weston, Mom and friend Melinda. Total blast! Got to play on Central Cal’s largest Pop Station. Dream come true! :)
My Birthday is in 56 minutes now!!!
So interesting the things that stand out. Our lives truly are but a vapor. That also reminds me of a saying that’s stuck with me from the trip I took with Kelli to Prague and back. On the way back we stopped at a Building that had built a huge weird buildings made of human bones underneath the main building. There were all these huts made out of human bones. As well as Chandeliers and tons of things. It was so weird. And written in human bones on one of the sides of the wall it said…
“We were once as you, and you will be like us.” It’s so true.
For the next day, month, year, years…I guess I just want to not take any moments for granted. I want to love more, forgive more, laugh more, and live in the moments and just get through the hard times with love and acceptance, and gratefulness.
And I actually feel this huge desire to move to Europe. Not sure why. I haven’t been in a few years and I just feel like life is so short, why not go live there for a while and get to explore all these places I dream to see! :) But that’s for another day…
Aw. Love. Life.
Tour Diary Day One Sept. 21st, 2010
Ok, So as promised I’m writing my day one of my tour diary. Mainly today was a lot of driving. We got up around 5 a.m. and kissed my hubby goodbye and then got my mom and son up to finish packing the car. And when I say packing, boy do I mean PACKING. Because that’s the only way everything was going to fit!
So, we did it and there was one brief second when we were packed in my car like sardines that I thought about calling and cancelling and the thought “Who said this was a good idea?” went through my head. Mainly, it was also the lack of sleep and the stress of a big trip with my mother and a 2 year old!
So off we went! Down the street to Coffee Bean! Like we were going to start this trip without our favorite coffee! Yum yum! And then…off we really went….
Next stop…Flagstaff, AZ!!! Well, we stopped a few times along the way for food, and some walk time, but finally made it to Flagstaff at 4 p.m. Mom and I crashed and took turns watching West while we napped. Then we took an awesome trip walking across the street to Wal Mart! Woo hoo. As if we needed anything else…
Smelling the fresh air here in Flagstaff is enough to make me want to move from my beautiful sunny CA stat! But I won’t, yet at least! :) We took a nice long walk around and just breathed in the pine tree air.
Tomorrow morning, first stop (after coffee) GRAND CANYON!!! I’ll probably write a more detailed and funny tour diary after- like a fun wrap up- but I’m so exhausted right now this is all I can do.
Showcase and all my eggs in one basket!!!!!
So, besides my sister leaving for AFRICA today (for 2 years to teach art and help orphans)…yeah, so besides THAT…I’m focusing almost all my energy (ok, my remaining energy while raising a 20 month old)…on my SHOWCASE THIS THURSDAY!
I’m SO excited to go and play my heart out this Thursday. The past several months since finishing my EP and working with my manager, Judy Stakee, I’ve really been putting my heart and soul into every performance, which I feel I’d been lacking in the past.
It’s not that I didn’t try, it’s just sometimes, when you’re the only one listening to you in a crowd full of people (LOL…and single tear :) it’s hard to pour your whole heart out! Since meeting and working with Judy, though, I feel like finally some things may be starting to happen and like at any time I could BLOW UP. (in a good or bad way!) ;)
It’s like, a legitimate person who’s worked with some of my favorite singer/songwriters believes in me! Well, I better believe in me 100% and believe in every song, word, note I play and sing! So my passion, that was always there, went from a fire to a fire storm!!!! I’m on FIRE!
And today I was just sitting down and all of a sudden wanted to type ” I put all my eggs in one basket” and what’s wrong with that? Truly? Cause, if you put your eggs in two baskets, and the other basket is safer and will for sure bring in money right away- I promise you, you’re going to pick up the safer basket…right? I mean…be wise, and be smart, but BE YOU! Put that big golden egg in a safe basket. And maybe it’s not golden right away, but maybe it turns golden as it ripens (get it, you’re the egg!). Like..I’m my own egg! lol.
But bear with me, I’m on a very profound (and silly) roll…Get it. I think it’s genius- I’m changing the saying. lol. It also reminds me of a new song I’m writing…about being Golden. Like we all go searching after Gold (and yes I relate this song to CA Gold Rush, I’ll post it soon once I get it to sound a little deep and not too cheesy)….so on w/ my thought. People always say we need this or that, or to be this or that…and then one day (hopefully one day soon) we have to step away from all that and go NUH UH! I don’t need none of that or as my song says “You’re just a lump of coal, paint yourself gold. But I’m the real thing, yeah you know I got bling..I’m Golden….I’m already Golden” (yeah it sounds cooler sung)
Ok, well it’s far too late at night to continue, because believe me, I could totally continue. :)
Let me know your thoughts and hope you’re well!!! :)
