To Give or not to Give…Up
To Give, or Not To Give… Up
Sometimes I feel like giving up, on so many things. On my friends that never call me first, I always have to call them first and hope they’ll call me back or write me.
I feel like giving up on always trying to lose weight. Am I not good enough the way I am? When will it be good enough? Don’t I need to love myself. I mean it’s one thing to eat healthy and exercise on a consistent basis. But am I not allowed to have a chocolate bar once or twice a week? COME ON!
But then, I remember and think about so many people in the world who don’t have enough to eat. Who don’t even have any family or friends to lean on when they’ve lost everything. People who have been sold into slavery. 1.2 Million children are trafficked every year throughout the world. (Source: Various, Noted by UNICEF)
I then think. I CAN’T GIVE UP! I may have my problems, we all do, but the truth is that living in this country, and with a loving family as I have, my lowest points of life may never even be compared to some people’s daily lives. When faced with the way that most people live, these things I often worry about don’t seem as important.
I look at my sleeping 2 year old son and my amazing husband who loves me very much. I think of my mother, father and sister 70 miles away who just drove to visit us today.
I realize even if my friends don’t call me back. Even if I gain 10 lbs, stay the same, or lose weight. Even if I lose my health and all my looks. I do have people who love me and would do anything for me. So many people on this earth have never had that, and may never have that.
So. I WILL GIVE UP my selfishness and my pride that thinks I know why my loved ones aren’t calling me- perhaps they’re going through a harder time than me and I need to keep reaching out.
I WILL GIVE UP feeling bad about myself if I don’t lose a pound this week, or even if I gain one. Because I am exercising and eating healthy, and that’s supposed to be the point, right? And more importantly, I’m trying to be a good person!
I WONT GIVE UP trying to give a voice to those who don’t have one.
I WONT GIVE UP loving even when I don’t feel loved, because our feelings often betray the truth.
AND I WON’T GIVE UP on me. I will remember “every day is new with no mistakes in it yet” as said by one of my favorite fictional characters ever- Anne of Green Gables. (Books by L.M. Montgomery)
And I WONT GIVE UP on my dream to adopt one or more children because Anne was an orphan, my mother was an orphan, and there are so many orphans in the world that I just know there’s one or more made for my home, and there’s definitely a lot we can all help even if it’s just through a letter, a donation, or our homes and hearts!
I WON’T GIVE UP trying to right any wrong that I can be a part of righting!
I WILL GIVE UP all things that keep me from being a light in this world.
Extreme Couponing and Amazing homemade Iced Coffee Secret!!!!
Ok, so I had such an exciting thing just happen that I had to get on here and write about it immediately. You may be wondering… what is so important to me that I have to write about… COFFEE!!!! And not just any coffee- Homemade Delicious Iced Coffee!
If anyone else is like me, I’ve been on the search for how to make the perfect iced or ice-blended coffee. You’d think it wouldn’t be that difficult. But the difficult part isn’t stirring water, coffee, cream and sugar together- it’s finding a GREAT coffee taste that doesn’t have floating pieces in it! You KNOW what I’m talking about!
So yesterday after going into Coffee Bean for my twice weekly treat of getting a latte from them, I noticed (as I’d noticed many times before) their Coffee Extract for sale. I FINALLY picked it up to see the directions on how to make Iced Coffee at home. Well, all you do is add water- so I thought. Well, might as well give it a try. I LOVE COFFEE BEAN Coffee and to my taste, it’s one of my favorite coffee tastes ever. So, I was hoping that the coffee in this would be the same.
Well, just 10 minutes ago I was having my afternoon sleepy moments and said “It’s time to try that coffee extract!” So I followed the simple directions of putting 3 oz coffee extract with 4 oz cold filtered water (They said put ice in first, but I know better than that- you need to stir it with no ice- trust me- I actually worked in a Coffee Shop for a few months, and have watched the Baristas at coffee shops as well). I then added a couple tbs lowfat creamer and 1 packet stevia, stirred and then added ice to the top!
WOW!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY HOMEMADE ICED COFFEE THAT TASTES STOREBOUGHT AND AMAZING!!!!
So here’s the MONEY SAVINGS for doing this instead of a latte out each day:
That container of coffee extract can make 10 cups of coffee. It was $12. so for the month it’d be $48 instead of $4x30 (if you go everyday and get one latte)…= $120. A savings of $72 dollars!!!! $72x 12 months= $864!!!! OR a plane ticket to Europe!!!! lol (I measure my money lost or saved by travels!) I’m 29 and FINALLY getting it together! :)
SO OH YES! A treat for my mouth and my pocketbook! :)
And speaking of other treats for our pocketbooks…I’ve recently been inspired by the TLC show Extreme Couponing. Now, I’m nowhere near as Extreme, BUT I will tell you..In the last few months by shopping smarter and following THEKRAZYCOUPONLADY.COM and now having my own Coupon Binder I’ve literally saved hundreds of dollars in just a few months. I’m not kidding.
Go to that website- check out the beginners and how to make your binder. They explain it all! The real secrets are in their book, though, which is SO affordable to order through their website (NO I’m NOT PAID to say any of this) but I know in these hard economic times a lot of us are trying to figure out how to save money! (or just pay bills, right!?!?)I was so thankful someone told me about this site (the author is one of the ones featured on the show) and I just wanted to spread the love!!!!
I’m telling you, this has CHANGED MY LIFE! Please do yourself a favor- put aside what you think couponing is-
1. Go to THEKRAZYCOUPONLADY.COM.
2. Get on their mailing list
3. Check it dailly/weekly for deals
4. Make your own binder
5. Buy their book
6. Follow their rules!
7. Coupon, Go Crazy, and save lots of money! YAY!
IT WILL CHANGE YOU and help you so much, I promise!
So, sit on down with your homemade coffee like me, start couponing (or keep it up) and say HOORAY! for taking control and still enjoying life! WOO HOO!!!!!!
Mommy Life and the continual “Artist Struggle”
I’m sitting here on a Wednesday morning in my pj’s, on the couch, sipping a warm cup of coffee, with my 2 year old son watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and playing with his IKEA train set. And of course- on my laptop writing this blog and ceremoniously checking emails and trying to “Get ahead”, brainstorm, and create/record music.
Life is such an interesting journey. My son is the most important person in my life, and I just love him so much. Part of me wants to get on the ground and play with him (which I often do) but part of me wants to stay right here just so grateful that he’s now playing by himself and I can get a little work done!
I find everyday a tedious balance between getting work done I need to get done, songwriting, recording, teaching music, personal bible study time and prayer time, working out, eating healthy, housework (that’s at the end of my list on purpose!lol), etc etc- and then somedays we just say WHATEVER and get in the car and go to a park, see horses at the local stables, get a coffee to go (for me, not for him…well, ok he does ask for a sip!)
Being an independent musician and also a “Stay at home” mom is such a funny thing. The whole independent “artist” thing can be TOTALLY consuming, especially with the internet! There’s always another song you could write, another email you could send, another phone call you could make, etc etc etc..AHHHHHHH.
Having a child has actually brought more balance, not to talk about love, fun, my heart being full everyday- to my life! I think it’s helped me take the time to do the things I need to do to help provide for my family, as well as say no to things, I probably should’ve said no to before (unpaid gigs, stupid meetings with people who say they’re something but not that I should’ve researched, and so on and so forth), but because I didn’t have my precious little one at home and a loving husband- I just did those things because I could.
So, now I have to make very exact lists of what do with my time, when I actually get the time. Specific calls to make to booking agents, venues that PAY, managers, and all sorts of industry folk that I need to speak with to get ahead. But now, when the little guys are sleeping, I make my lists for the next day, copy and paste the numbers and emails I need to call the next day into my calendar. I think I’ve actually gotten it TOGETHER!
When I go out for a gig, I have a suitcase I roll that’s loaded with everything I’ll need from merchandise, to cables, mics, and a baggie of things I may need like black tape, bungee cords, scissors, markers, and lots of other goodies! It’s not that I never had those things in my gig bag before- but now they’re all in one little place and I’ve finally organized! I can’t tell you how much easier it makes my gigging life!
On top of that for gigs I have to take a sound system to (which is most of them), I also have a rock-n-roller cart- this thing is MY BEST FRIEND at gigs, and better than my best friend in the sense that it can hold up to 1000 lbs! lol. (although there’s nothing like a best friend at a gig, because although they can’t carry as much in one load as my cart, they can carry me through a lame gig where no one shows up or claps!lol). So seriously, if you’re a gigging, or want to be gigging musician- you NEED this cart! Best $100 I ever spent!
So, I’ve actually gotten all this stuff together since having my adorable 2 year old son and buddy! So although I definitely have less time on my hands to do my music stuff, when I do do my music stuff (don’t you love saying do do as a mommy), I think I do do it better (twice in one sentence- that’s amazing!).lol
On top of all that, I will say that sometimes in the past I was a bit flakey as a music teacher. I would cancel, even if it was legit, but parents would get frustrated. Now that I am a parent, I totally understand why! So being a mommy has really helped me be more consistent in that aspect as well. You now understand what moms and dads have to go through just to get a kid, let alone any other kids in the car with them, home, let alone to an appointment!
Well, I better get back to checking emails and changing the video on the TV to Handy Manny so that Weston keeps playing! :) Well he’s on my lap. No more time to write! :) But it’s ok, he’s sitting on my lap and just leaned in to kiss me! :)
I’ll leave you with a video of exactly what it’s like to try to get a video recorded while home with the little guy! (Note: I jut redid my music studio and it’s now video friendly not the mess in this clip)
Ok, So I’ve been learning the Accordion that past 2 days. It’s been amazing! I’ve had this accordion some friends gave me for months in my music room. But I was so intimidated. I’d only taken it out once, and it was so loud and heavy, I put it quickly back in.
Well, when I was on tour a few weeks ago through CA’s Central Coast, one of the performers only played Accordion. Yeti was her name (Pronounced Jeti), and besides being cool because she’s from Paris, she was also super awesome and fun. She really inspired me to come home and pick up my accordion (and I also learned it’s an ‘o’ not an ‘a’ at the end of accordion!
So, I’ve been watching these YouTube Videos trying to teach myself. I’m getting a lesson with my friend Sunday, who actually does play accordion in my band (and she also did inspire me- let’s not forget Femke!)
So, all that to say, I just recorded myself playing (and singing) my song “Hold Me” that has accordion as the lead instrument- so what better song to start with, I thought. Well, guess what, I got through it! Not so gracefully, but I didn’t miss a bass note and at least got through it, which was my goal.
If you didn’t know, I’m a music teacher as well as a performer. I teach a handful of students on a weekly basis and they totally enrich my life! A lot of times when they hear me sing, they tell me they’re so intimidated and I must’ve just been born with it. Well, first of all, I wasn’t, and this little audio clip is to prove it.
Listening to myself in such a beginner stage is hilarious and totally humbling. But it’s really fun being a student as an adult, and even funnier to me being a pro musician and then trying to learn a new instrument and sounding like such a beginner!
I’m hoping my all my piano skills and music theory will come in handy, and I’m sure it is, but it’s SO fun to be learning this instrument and something new. I hope you enjoy the track and that it makes you feel really good about yourself- and let’s all go learn something new and feel like a kid again!!! :)
Showcase and all my eggs in one basket!!!!!
So, besides my sister leaving for AFRICA today (for 2 years to teach art and help orphans)…yeah, so besides THAT…I’m focusing almost all my energy (ok, my remaining energy while raising a 20 month old)…on my SHOWCASE THIS THURSDAY!
I’m SO excited to go and play my heart out this Thursday. The past several months since finishing my EP and working with my manager, Judy Stakee, I’ve really been putting my heart and soul into every performance, which I feel I’d been lacking in the past.
It’s not that I didn’t try, it’s just sometimes, when you’re the only one listening to you in a crowd full of people (LOL…and single tear :) it’s hard to pour your whole heart out! Since meeting and working with Judy, though, I feel like finally some things may be starting to happen and like at any time I could BLOW UP. (in a good or bad way!) ;)
It’s like, a legitimate person who’s worked with some of my favorite singer/songwriters believes in me! Well, I better believe in me 100% and believe in every song, word, note I play and sing! So my passion, that was always there, went from a fire to a fire storm!!!! I’m on FIRE!
And today I was just sitting down and all of a sudden wanted to type ” I put all my eggs in one basket” and what’s wrong with that? Truly? Cause, if you put your eggs in two baskets, and the other basket is safer and will for sure bring in money right away- I promise you, you’re going to pick up the safer basket…right? I mean…be wise, and be smart, but BE YOU! Put that big golden egg in a safe basket. And maybe it’s not golden right away, but maybe it turns golden as it ripens (get it, you’re the egg!). Like..I’m my own egg! lol.
But bear with me, I’m on a very profound (and silly) roll…Get it. I think it’s genius- I’m changing the saying. lol. It also reminds me of a new song I’m writing…about being Golden. Like we all go searching after Gold (and yes I relate this song to CA Gold Rush, I’ll post it soon once I get it to sound a little deep and not too cheesy)….so on w/ my thought. People always say we need this or that, or to be this or that…and then one day (hopefully one day soon) we have to step away from all that and go NUH UH! I don’t need none of that or as my song says “You’re just a lump of coal, paint yourself gold. But I’m the real thing, yeah you know I got bling..I’m Golden….I’m already Golden” (yeah it sounds cooler sung)
Ok, well it’s far too late at night to continue, because believe me, I could totally continue. :)
Let me know your thoughts and hope you’re well!!! :)
Mother’s Day Funny Stories…
Ok, so I promised my sister I’d write this story down so we’d always remember it. Might as well share it with the world while putting it in a place I won’t forget- the internet! :)
So, yesterday was Mother’s Day and the day was off to a great start. My hubby brought me breakfast in bed and had gone out and bought me my favorite cup of coffee from Starbucks as well as a Starbucks gift card..ahhhh. :) So sweet.
Then, we all went to church together which was wonderful as usual. After Church, us girls (mom, sister, and me) decided it was time to get pampered. Out where my sis/parents live there’s not as many “nice” pedicure places as Orange County so we were looking on the internet trying to find a decent place. So, we called around, and decided to test our luck in Banning at a seemingly decent nail salon.
So, we drove out to Banning (my mom had to go to the Walmart there after) and found the nail salon very easily- we were so excited to get out of the car and pick out our nail color. Then we walked in and stood and stared. The people who were going to be doing our nails were young, college aged boys who looked a little like Viatnamese boy models. They had their masks on and started running the water- NO JOKE. So, I was like, “Whatever” and started picking out my color.
Well, then, my mom and sister started whispering things along the lines of “I don’t want these hot boys buffing my toe-nails,” and “And THEY’RE massaging my legs?” lol…ok- so then I started thinking about how it was MY mother’s day (and my mom’s of course) and I knew I also felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of these male models trimming my cuticles- and how could I really relax while they massaged my feet and calves?
As mom and my sister kept frantically whispering, the lady at the table (no, she of course wouldn’t be helping us- just sitting there) kept saying “they’re ready, they’re read” and we’re like “Just a minute”.
I could see where this was going. As I kept picking out my color and putting it back, and having done that 3 times waiting for the conclusion of this little scene- I decided that was that. I was outta there! I put up my color and bolted through my mom and sister, and ran out of the front doors to the car and hid behind it, waiting for my mom and sister with the keys to hopefully follow my lead.
Well, they finally came running out as well and we were laughing our heads off, in a nervous and guilty way. How do you tell people “Sorry, you’re too hot to massage my leges, and I don’t think my husband or I would like it very much”. I finally ran when I thought in my head. “I only get one pedicure today, this is NOT how I’m going to get it.” lol.
So, we ended up finding the nicest pedicure place down the street that was brand new and had the best massage chairs and LADIES doing our feet EVER! :) So, we’ll definitely be going back- to THAT one.
Moral of the story: Before going to a pedicure place, perhaps ask if hot model boys will be doing the work, or the usual lovely ladies. ;) ha ha ha. And if any of you want to visit the model boy pedicure place- feel free to email me and I’ll give you the info. lol.
Split Personalities and Carpedium!
So lately I’ve been thinking about how I walk around during the day with my son in my “mommy” clothes. Normally no make-up with my hair pulled back and clothes I can move in-especially with a 16 month old son running around. It is sure a blast. Especially with his little car I push him around in. We have our little routine of walking(him driving :) up to the Coffee Bean and then back down the park and/or beach to play in the sand. It’s so awesome to be together.
And, then on nights I go to L.A. for an industry event, or band rehearsal or show- I sometimes feel like a completely different person! Mainly appearance- lol! I get clean (WOO HOO for showers!) do my hair, put on make-up, jewelry, and cute clothes. I promise, I don’t think someone on the street would recognize me as the same person. ha ha. And besides the total difference- I have to set my mind in a different way. It’s business, you know? It’s just an interesting change. Both people are me- but both different, but the same. My morals and personality don’t change, but besides my appearance…I don’t know!
So, this leads into my Carpedium (SEIZE THE DAY!) because as hard as I try to live in each moment, I’m constantly faced with the future, but not a promised future…I don’t know if this makes sense…but I’m just trying to enjoy my son, my husband, my life as it is now- even though I have these huge dreams and goals…I don’t want to miss out on the precious daily stuff that sometimes seems mundane, but I think in the future if I do go on tour or even have fame- I’m sure I’ll miss this.
I guess this has all been on my mind- so I’m learning what to focus on all while not letting go of goals and dreams. It’s an interesting balance. I want to pursue my dreams and make them happen but I definitely want to enjoy everyday with my precious family and not forget to reach out to others and not be selfish.
Ah….life. It is beautiful, even if confusing and stressful at times. I WILL focus on the beauty!
This is a pic of me and my husband pre-baby on a CARPEDIUM trip last minute to Pismo Beach a couple years ago! :)
